The Final Love Language...Acts of Service

[Selina Michelle May]

Quality Time has always been my number 1 love language and it still is, but Acts of Service is now running a close 2nd!  I say "now" because acts of service was never really something I needed until I had Gannon.  When I had him, I realized how much "help" I really needed!  And I so adore the times that Ryan steps in and takes G for me every once in a while.  Don't get me wrong, I love being with Gannon, but I need my down time sometimes!  There were four things within the chapter that really struck me about Acts of Service and I wanted to share those with you...

 

1.  "As we consider acts of service, we must ask ourselves, "Whom do I serve?"  It is not just your children.  As a marriage partner, you serve your spouse, doing things will please him or her in order to express your love.  You want to keep your partner's love tank full by your acts of service.  Because children need a mother and father who give them a balanced model for life, making time for your marital relationship is an essential part of good parenting."

2.  "As a parent who must serve, you probably have discovered another truth about this love lanugage: Acts of Service are physically and emotionally demanding.  Therefore, we as parents must give attention to our own physical and emotional health.  For physical health, we need balanced patterns of sleeping, eating, and exercising.  For emotional health, self-understanding and a mutually supportive marital relationship are crucial."

3.  "Acts of service can become a model for your child's service and responsibility.  You may wonder how your children will develop their own independence and competence if you serve them.  But as you express your love by acts of service to your children, doing things they may not yet be able to do for themselves, you are setting a model.  This will help them escape their self-centered focus and help others, that's our ultimate goal as parents."

4.  "Loving service is not slavery, as some fear.  Slavery is imposed from the outside and is done with reluctance.  Loving service is an internally motivated desire to give one's energy to others.  Loving service is a gift, not a necessity, and is done freely, not under coercion.  When parent's serve their children with a spirit of resentment and bitterness, a child's physical needs may be met, but his emotional development will be greatly hampered."

 

So which of these four things resonated most with you regarding what you already do and which one is something you feel you need to work on?

 

I'm also including a list of ways to "serve" our children... 

[Selina Michelle May]

I guess the one that resonated most with me was number two.  Serving my little guy is emotionally and physically draining at times.  So Ryan and I have set up times where he takes Gannon for me so that I can have some down time.  Ryan will watch G for me every Monday morning.  This is a time where I focus on me and the rest of the week with the family.  I exercise, I watch the week's message (because I'm usually in Elementary serving and miss the service), and I plan the rest of the week. I love this time and I am a better mom and wife because of it!  Ryan watches Gannon other times too (because he's a great father and husband) so it's not just limited to Monday morning's, but that's the huge block of time that has been set aside for me. And sleep is a major MUST for me.  So we try to make sure our evening's out end a little early so that we can get back for bed at a reasonable time.

 

The one I feel I need to work on most is the first.  I am usually so busy scheduling Gannon's day and the family's the day that the one who gets most neglected is my hubby.  We go on date night's at least twice a month, but where I need to set aside more time is in the evenings after we put G to bed.  I usually take that time to catch up on emails or talk on the phone or just veg!  But maybe I could just start taking 20-30 minutes to just devote to him to make sure we're on the same page or just pour on the praise (his love language is words of affirmation!).

[Kristen Arp]

Cory and I need to work on this. I am a "quality time" girl myself, so I have a hard time stepping away from my time with Ellie and Cory, both! I am starting to see that I need that recharge time though. I am noticing my patience wearing thinner than it used to. :) I've noticed MY acts of service lacking toward others when I get tired too, so this is another reason to take the help when it's offered!

[Charissa UpChurch]

These are all really great reminders!  I can definitely agree about the demands of service being great!  John is great about giving me a night off each week, too.  Usually after dinner one night I head out on my own or lock myself in my crafting space.  That really helps me to recharge and refresh so that I'm a better mom throughout the week.  It is also good for the girls to have some one-on-one dad time.  

 

One thing that came to mind when I was reading number 3 happened just last week. When the girls ask me to do something to help them, I try to respond enthusiastically with a "Sure!  I'd love to!"  We've been working on them obeying with a "happy heart" and I was hoping that this could help with that.  Last week, I was in the room when Kaelan (4) asked Caia (2) to help her with something.  Caia walked over and said, "Sure!  I'd love to!"  I loved hearing her copy that from me!  :-)

 

We've also started communicating the importance of serving others through our advent calendar.  Instead of getting gifts each day, we have a "family activities" advent calendar.  We do lots of different things, but one of the activities we just did was making cookies for the mail carrier.  We emphasized that we were showing Christ's love by sharing our baking with him.  The girls were so excited when we got a little thank you note back from him!   

 

The thing I need to work on more is always having a good attitude in service.  I find myself getting agitated because the girls can't do something on their own, or just wishing that they would.  Then I'm reminded that it won't be long before they'll do everything on their own and they won't need me.  I really need to work harder to cherish these times with them. 

[Selina Michelle May]

Love the story of the Kaelan and Caia "I'd love to" exchange!  What a great reminder to us all that our kiddos are watching and learning every move we make, you know?

 

I love the idea of the cookies for the mailman.  And how precious that he/she gave you a postcard of thanks back!  I'm sure that made the girls so excited! 

 

The thing you need to work is on is a great reminder to me too.  You are too right.  Pretty soon, they'll be doing everything on their own and we will wonder if they even need us any more.  Of course they will, but it will just be in a different way.  We definitely need to cherish these moments while we can!!!  Good advice!

[Kristen Arp]

Those Mailmen sure do love cookies!! :) Cory brought fudge home yesterday and it just made his day that someone was so thoughtful. 

Those babies are so sweet. I can just hear Kaelan say "Sure! I'd love to!"...

Where did you get the "family activities" for your advent calendar? Did you just make them up?

[Charissa UpChurch]

I scoured Pinterest and found some.  I pulled some Christmas crafts that I've wanted to do.  We're making some "sweet" recipes that I've wanted to try.  We also put on some traditional Christmas activities, like look at Christmas lights and get a new ornament for the tree.  

 

And yes, Kaelan has said it before, too, but this time it was Caia!  :-)